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seeking quotes for article

Topic status: answered

 » chit chat
Landesflagge: AU
papillion44
Topic creator
Posts: 4

Hi I hope no one objects to my posting this here. My name is Peter and I write for the write for the Divine website. http://www.divine.vic.gov.au/main-site/home the site highlights issues relevant to people with a disability.

I am seeking comments for an article I am writing called Turn the other cheek. Would like to hear people’s opinions about what’s the best course of action when others are annoying or offensive. Should we turn the other cheek or “accidently” bump into them or take other measures. I would also like to hear about how people’s rudeness affects you.

I am looking for quotes about the strategies people develop to deal with others who are continually rude to them. Or if you would just like to comment on your experiences good or bad about how others treat you I would be happy to consider your thoughts for the article.

I need to attribute a name to the quotes you may use a pseudonym if you wish to reply. You can reply to my email peter66abigpond[dot]com or leave a post here.

Peter
Written on: 03/03/2013 [06:45]
Die Website für Menschen mit Behinderung und schwerer Krankheit / Community for disabled people
Landesflagge: CH
swisswuff1
Posts: 657
papillion44 wrote:


Hi I hope no one objects to my posting this here. My name is Peter and I write for the write for the Divine website. http://www.divine.vic.gov.au/main-site/home the site highlights issues relevant to people with a disability.

I am seeking comments for an article I am writing called Turn the other cheek. Would like to hear people’s opinions about what’s the best course of action when others are annoying or offensive. Should we turn the other cheek or “accidently” bump into them or take other measures. I would also like to hear about how people’s rudeness affects you.

I am looking for quotes about the strategies people develop to deal with others who are continually rude to them. Or if you would just like to comment on your experiences good or bad about how others treat you I would be happy to consider your thoughts for the article.

I need to attribute a name to the quotes you may use a pseudonym if you wish to reply. You can reply to my email peter66abigpond[dot]com or leave a post here.

Peter



When others are annoying, rude or offensive, I have taken action and, in any future event, may take action. I also may ignore them. But the longer the annoyance the less likely I will stay put.

I am probably rather good at playing these replies out of the moment.

There is no set rule, no set type of answer, just an annoyed me that draws on decades of experience. That makes it virtually impossible for the person that annoys me to prepare for my answer, to react adequately to it, or to feel safe. And that is the very idea of what I do then.

When people would stare, I did anything from walking up to them and burping to staring back, starting to drool, starting to mumble, or to simply tell them there is a time out of 30 seconds after which all calls would be off. When faced with verbal abuse, I usually replied in what seemed to be an adequate degree of agression to dish back the sensations they incurred. Cannot say anyone was very successful talking back any sense.

Some time ago, a few bored young guys started to aggressively demand that I respond to a question about my prosthetic hand.

From the situation it was clear they were not interested in the hand but just wanted to try if they could intimidate me into being cornered to talk about the hand, or, anything they would define as subject. It was a bully moment. We have these young guys lurking at corners having a go at people so that was such a moment. They usually start to be aggressive with what they perceive as suitable victims.

So I asked the guy (who sported a goatee of sorts) "I do not ask you about that pubic hair in what seems to be your face either, right?". Dead silence. Then it was apparent he was extremely unhappy with my reply. After that I have not ever had to face these guys again ever.

Some other time a guy sitting in the sauna asked me "whoa, how do YOU drive with that arm, hugh". I looked at him and saw that his face looked like he drank too much alcohol over a longer period of time. I figured it was not on to address me like that and if that was what he was into, see how he would deal with a similarly blunt confrontation. So I replied "never mind that is what we have the road traffic agencies for - but consider how unsafe we are with all these ALCOHOLICS on the road". Shwoop, seconds later, he was gone. So, that was that.

But there is no real way of planning these. Just accept you may also be treated in a rude way, and respond then and there.

Ich habe mir das Buch 'Do it yourself' gekauft. Auf deutsch ungefähr: 'Selbst ist der Mann'! Aber es muß heute ja englisch sein. (DONALD DUCK, aus Selbst ist der Mann)
Written on: 26/03/2013 [13:16]
Die Website für Menschen mit Behinderung und schwerer Krankheit / Community for disabled people
Landesflagge: AU
papillion44
Topic creator
Posts: 4
Hi thank you for your response. I know from personal experience that constant insults about our disabilities can wear us down and get to us. I think it’s important for our mental health to respond to people who are offensive even though it may escalate the conflict to the point of physical violence so I would never try and tell others what to do when people are rude to them.

But I do feel that people who advocate the turn the other cheek response don’t understand that prolonged and continual insults get inside you and diminish you as a person. Abuse makes us less able to deal with life’s problems. It also becomes harder to give those who are close to us love and support when we are under siege from abusive people.

Written on: 02/04/2013 [07:20]
Die Website für Menschen mit Behinderung und schwerer Krankheit / Community for disabled people